Are jokes

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.

Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.

Where are virgins usually born?

Virginia.

Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."

You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?

Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.

If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!

How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.