Appearance jokes

Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.

When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.

When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.

Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.

What is the difference between a priest and a zit?

The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.

Your hairline is more bent than your gender.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.

Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.

It looks like Will Smith slapped your hairline so hard that the dinosaurs can see it now.

Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

Your skin's so bright you could be used as a highlighter.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

I saw your license. It said you're 15.

I checked your face. It says you're 50.

Your hairline is so long it reaches your toes.

I'm bald.