And jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.

I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.

I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.

Hey, I have a joke!

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of its clause!

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.

Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!

How did Helen Keller die?

Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.

What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?

They both come in small can.

I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"

He called the cops.

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.

I just wanted to write something random.

And now my wife is dead.

Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half a cat.

What’s the difference between a woman that doesn’t belong in the kitchen and Bigfoot?

Bigfoot is real.

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.