And jokes

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

Yo mama so old,

her memory is black and white.

I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.

Worst joke ever: me and my user.

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.

Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?

They both will die alone.

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.

Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Ok, Seek, you're it. Me and Hide will hide.

Seek: Why do I have to be the seeker?

Figure: Because your name is in seeker.

What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?

They can't see each other anymore.

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

Roses are red, clovers are green.

I love your legs and what's in between. LOL

What do orphans and homework have in common?

Everybody forgets about them.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."