And jokes

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

What's the difference between dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.

Person 2: OMg!

What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?

People want donuts.

The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.

Why do orphans love McDonald's?

Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

What's the difference between an orphan and an orange?

One gets picked.

What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?

They both live underground, except for the eagle.

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.