And jokes

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?

Batman has no one to call "daddy."

The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."

Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.