And jokes

Shark

So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.

But don't worry, he is all right now.

Waiter

The waiter comes and asks you for the check. Instead I give him a 20 dollar bill and say, "Boy, you can keep it!"

Gulag

When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"

Time

Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".

I commented back to you and portory.

Memes

Gay

Two gays came into the bar and said, "What's up, you big faf mother of hell?"

Prince

Prince, are you really gay, because I love you with all my heart and pray for you all the time!

PLEASE CHOOSE ME INSTEAD! :(

Boyfriend

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

Sister

My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

Apple

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

Banana

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because she felt peely!

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

Skating

One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.

It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.

Dad

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.

Dad

Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.

Orphan

Orphans can’t work at Johnson and Johnson because it’s a family company.