And jokes
Hello.
Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!
Yo mama is so hairy that she brushed it like her hair and put pins on it.
xthegamer0 is 35. He grew up with GTA5 and is still playing it today.
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
Memes
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
When you are chilling in the World Trade Center, and then you suddenly get airplane WiFi.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
The difference between gorge floyd and kobe is kobe got air
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
Why are the twin towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza and got a plane!
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.
What do you call 2 wings and a halo?
A Chinese phone call: "Wing wing halo!" 🤪