And jokes
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
Top ten dog breeds:
10. Dogs
9. Are
8. Beautiful
7. Animals
6. And
5. Judgement
3. Is
2. Cruel
1. Dachshund
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
Memes
I told you ten puns to make you laugh, and I do not pun in-ten-did.
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
I'll slit your throat and kick you in the gut till you die one time.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
Why were Adam and Eve's sons so much alike? Because Cain was Abel minded!
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?
Nose-less.
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
What's small, stupid, and has no dad?
Ben.
How were Stephen Hawking's best mates, Siri and Google?
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?
The tap can run.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.