ancient Greece jokes

Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.

Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.

Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?

Who else would think of adding gas?

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?

Because there were too many knights.