How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Alcohol Consumption Jokes
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.
I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
