Adoption

Adoption Jokes

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Teacher

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

Orphan

What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?

When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."

Orphan

Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?

"Pikachu, I choose you!"

Orphan

Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?

Kid: Sure.

Dad: Come on.

Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?

Dad: Go in.

Orphan

Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?

A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.

Orphan

Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?

A: Because they say "family" too often.

Orphan

I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.

Construction

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"

Orphanage

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!