What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Adoption Jokes
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
What's an orphan's favorite part in the Wizard of Oz?
When Dorothy says, "There's no place like home."
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?
A: Because they say "family" too often.
I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.
How do you make an adopted kid bleed? ... Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
Why don’t orphans like baseball?
They have no home to run to.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.
Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!
