Why did i walk across the road?
to get hit by a car
When I was 14 my mum caught me wanking and she slapped me across the face a couple weeks later my dad caught me having a beer and he made me drink 40 beers and I just thought we’ll I’m glad he didn’t catch me wanking
kid asks "what is dark humor?" me *points*"see at that guy across the street..." kid:"i can't... I'm blind" me:"exactly "
Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay. Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across him face. Richard: No, I couldn't. Richard's mom: Why. Richard: Because he was cute.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper But instead I showed them my wrists
So two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river. One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen. So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.
Do you know Imagine Dragons Yeah Imagine Dragon my nuts across your face
I was beefin wit a dude and a wheel chair so I took his wheel chair and threw it across the street and told him walk it off u will be fine
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
whats the hardest part when making skimmed milk? throwing the cow across the lake
So the other day I was looking up zodiac sign stuff you know im a real big fan of that and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have there own hairstyles... except cancer.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line he comes across a woman who Isn't saluting. Why are you not saluting like the others? Hitler barks. "Mein Führer, Im the nurse," she responds "Im not crazy!
I told my mother i wanted a brother for Christmas The next day i saw her in the strip club across the street
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A Minor, and the other one plays guitar.
Sometimes i wish my gf was here that way we could have some fun in my bed, the I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall lol
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
