what’s dudeese

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?

Presentation.

Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.

Bitches be like, "Read the room."

What genre is that in?

Are people still mad at Hasan from that dog incident? All he wanted to do was become the world’s first lightningbender.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Six, seven.

Why do leftists strive for a literate population?

So people can understand their wall of text memes.

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

USA: "Never forget 9/11."

Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"

World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.

My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

The best and worst part about being bi:

Best: Double the love, double the fun.

Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.

In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.

What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.