Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Thoughtless
@thoughtless
Official grammar nazi of WJE
This place used to be a shitshow
I miss those days
WTF is this?
Shep
experiment
Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?
Nah bro, French be wild!
V-day mascot! (OC)
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...