Marilol

Like if your dad is abusive.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

Hey, are you suicide? 'Cause I dream of you every day! <3

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger sister.

What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?

Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)