A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said go away you won’t bring it back
Why can't the USA and England play chess?"
USA has no towers and England has no queen.
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you noticed you said nothing at all?
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him "What are you doing?!" Exclaims the priest
"There is nothing on this Earth for me." The Muslim says "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" He says
"Follow me, Ill take you to the local primary school."
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
Wanna hear some famous last words? “We are just experiencing some turbulence”
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
Its sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as- wild dogs
How many Police Officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
Whats the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
My memes are ironic but my depression is chronic.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped
