Worst Jokes Ever

I saw an ISIS video and I got the theme stuck in my head. I was humming it the next day at work when my Arab co-worker said, "soon, my brother."

What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?

A kindergarden.

My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

Ur dad lesbian.

Ur sister a mister.

Ur family tree LGBT.

Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!

What do you say to a fat Asian?

You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.

Did you know Hellen Keller has a pool?

Neither did she.

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Seven is a registered six-offender.

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."

Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.

What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.

The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."