Worst Jokes Ever
Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth