Worst Jokes Ever

I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.

A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉

Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?

Because it flew over their heads.

Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks.

What do you do when you see a sad orphan?

Nothing, let them wait for their parents.

A professor was talking about the American dream. Then, he asked the German exchange student if there was a German dream, to which the student replies, "We did, but no one liked it."

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

What did the angry cow say to its enemy?

"We have beef!"

What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.