Worst Jokes Ever
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
You're gay!
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
The South.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣