Worst Jokes Ever
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why download Fruit Ninja when you have your arm?
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the short person become a chef?
Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
"Why don't skeletons go skydiving?"
"Because they don't have the guts... or the parachute!"
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Why would doors do well on social media?
Everyone looks for their handles.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES nature?
MC Green
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!