Worst Jokes Ever
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.