Worst Jokes Ever
I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”