Worst Jokes Ever

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.

Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman.

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy.

Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

The twin towers were the best soilders ever. Stand together, FALL TOGETHER!

Study tip: laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips

My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms. In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

Roses are read romance is dead everyday i suffer from existential dread

harry potter is a movie about a grown adult man with a unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy

i lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free

Why do some people keep posting lame jokes about 9/11?

Answer; Because they are STUPID LOSERS!

Why do Inbred White Trash Racists talk so much Shit?

Answer; Because deep down inside, they KNOW that they are nothing but PATHETIC LOSERS!

Isn't it ridiculas to hear INBRED WHITE TRASH RACISTS talking $#iT about OTHER "Cultures"?

Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?

Answer; She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!

Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.

Hi I gave a blind kid a gun I told it was a hairdryer

What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar? It becomes a flee market.