Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

What’s a reverse exorcism?

It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.

There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.

The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"

The teacher said, "What about the kids?"

The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."

The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.