Worst Jokes Ever
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
What did a man say to his boy?
You are my son.
What pronouns does Michael Jackson use? Hee/hee.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
Who is the new heterosexual Michael Joseph Jackson (pedophile)?
R. Kelly.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
What’s the best kind of candy to offer at a Pride parade?
Skittles.
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.