Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7’s a cunt.
My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.
But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.
Yo mama is so fat.
When the 🌞 retired, she was eligible to take its place.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Why are female pornstars like Krispy Kreme donuts?
Because they get glazed on both sides.
Jesus is gay, and God is transgender.
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
Two Arabs are swapping jokes. One cracks up and yells, "Man, that joke was an absolute blast!"
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wife."
*darned autocorrect*
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wi-fi"
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?
"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"