19

19 Jokes

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

Dr Fauci would be surprised to know that R Kelly didn't catch COVID-19. But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary

Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left

Mom: you need to grow up. your so immature

Me: *glares* get out of my castle ....

Mom: it's a pillow fort

Me: why cant i have an imagination!?

Mom: your almost 19 years old

Me: not good enough ... OUT!

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"