19 jokes

Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.

I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

Yo mama so stupid she studied for a COVID-19 test.

Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.

But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.

For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.

COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.

19 and 20 had a fight. 21.

Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?

Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."

My mom was 19 when she was pregnant with me, My mom was 39 when she was pregnant by me!!!

Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

Mom: It's a pillow fort.

Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

Me: Not good enough... OUT!

COVID-19 is like pasta.

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.