Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I named my dog 5-Miles, so now I tell people, "I walk 5-Miles every day."

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

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  • What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

    What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

    What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

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  • What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?

    You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

    This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."

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  • My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

    If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?

    I have a penis.

    How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.

    500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.