Worst Jokes Ever
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
What is a redneck virgin?
Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
Why did 6 hate 7?
Because 7 ate 9!
Why was ten scared? Because it was between 9/11.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
Why is Black History Month the shortest month of the year?
What's an orphan's least favorite meme? "Family."
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they actually come back.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.
I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...
"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.