Worst Jokes Ever
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.
o o a a.
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.
BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).