Worst Jokes Ever
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
Why does an orphanage have milk?
Because Dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?
Both get hard when we play with them.
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife?
A knife at least has a point.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
I was asked to design a website for an orphanage, so I decided to design it without the home page.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
Parents...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.