Zelensky jokes

How would negotiations between Putin and Zelensky play out?

QUEUE THE MUSIC

BANG BANG INTO THE ROOM I KNOW U WANT IT

Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.

Putin: Crimea river.

Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?

Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?

Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!