Newest Year Jokes - Page 20 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?

A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.

schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD" then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours

White 40 year olds love little white kids and so does trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!

More cops died from covid than anything else last year hahahaha

They should have shot covid instead of Tyrone on the microphone lmfao

me as a 5-year-old: how do you relate to the twin towers friend : what me: everytime I thing of them I feel sad

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught, having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.” “Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!” “No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”

Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake but it ended up fulfilling the 5 year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years

I told him my dad never came back with it

when little johnny was about 3 he got curious and stuck his hand up a maniquins pants and his mom says no little johnny there is teeth up there that will bite off your hand little johnny thing oh no i cant do that again. a few years later he was 15 and he had a gf and they were making out and she says why dont you ever stick your hand up my pants he says on no my mom says there is teeth that will bite off my hand up there she says no there isnt just look little johnny looks and says well no wonder there aint no teeth by the way them gums look.

I've been looking for my parents for years.for the life of me I can't remember where I hid their bodies

Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie? because it was rated RRRRGGGG

i am guessing u dont understand :(

So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

I threw a boomerang years ago, now I live in constant fear.

A dad and son walks into a strip club the people in the strip club said he was to young to be in hear so they had to leave 10 years later they went back there. They saw a small dancer the father walked over there and said the woman looked to small to be in hear her reply was...?

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.