Earnie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Earnie "how did you sleep?" Earnie replied with "I slept amazing I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life." Burt replied with "good to hear, I slept amazing too, I had a dream that I was in heaven surround by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade
the name brynley means burnt wood lolololol
What's flat chested and emo? A cutting board.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you ;)
Therapy -Expensive -Years of hard work -Emotionaly draining -Tough to find
Screaming in the woods -Free -Immediate relief -Scares hunters enough to leave therefore saving innocent animals -Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to the how we talk to other guys like when they say can I borrow a pencil you say you can borrow this hard wood dick
The cold winter night there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men where gay but they did not know. Fili: Fili. Kili: And Kili. Fili and Kili: At your service. Kili: You must be Mr. Baggins. Bilbo: No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house. Kili: What?! Has it been canceled? Fili: No one told us. Bilbo: Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled. Kili: That’s a relief. Fili: Careful with these, I just had them sharpened. Kili: It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself? Bilbo: Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that? Dwalin: Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand. Kili: Mr. Dwalin. Balin: Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in. Bilbo: Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste! One of the Dwarves: Get off, you big lump!
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. it was a bar seat. they where able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it
1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
James Woods, starring in the newest movie: September 11, two thousand fun
What’s an emo kids favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker? Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.
Why did Pinnochio cross the road?
To get to the other lied
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white women he chopped her up and put her in the woods the suck fuck.
What Football Club das Mason green wood play for? Prison Fc
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
I had morning wood one day then my sister saw and said I can help