What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Violence against women is funny :)
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
A guy wakes up one morning and is walking down the road, and he smells fish, and he says, "Good morning, ladies!"
Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.
Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"
A women was in twin towers she orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza
Why do women rub their rub their eyebrows thay don't got balls to scratch
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
