Women jokes
My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?
Girl: No, how?
Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?
A strong man’s biceps.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
I got a job at a library. I got fired after 15 minutes. They told me it was because I put women's rights in the fiction section.
What is the difference between men and women?
Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.
What takes 10 parking spaces? Five women.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Women will always be superior to men. After all, they are FEmale (Fe - iron, male - man).
Raping white women should be encouraged everywhere!
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
Sometimes women are like bad snacks. People try them and then chuck them in the trash.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.