Why jokes
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodnight Grandma. Goodbye Grandpa!
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandpa is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy. Goodnight Daddy. Goodbye Grandma.
Dad: Wait, why are you saying that?
Child: I just felt like it.
The next day, the Grandma is dead.
Dad: That's just a VERY scary coincidence.
Child: Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy!
Dad: Oh no. If I survive until tomorrow, everything will be okay!
Survives until tomorrow.
Dad: Whew! That was nice! *Goes to house*
Mom: Honey! I was so worried about you! The mailman just dropped dead on our porch!
(If you don't get it, the mailman is the biological father)
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are a majority of rape allegations false?
Because whores like to cry wolf.
Why can’t Jesus be born in West Virginia?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
I couldn’t figure out why the football kept getting bigger... then it hit me!