Why jokes
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Why are obese jokes so offensive?
Because fat people have enough on their plate.
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
Why don't Indians play baseball?
Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.