Q-Who’s the fastest readers in the world? A-the 911 victims, they when through 20 stories in seconds
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
why did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock whos there? not sally
