Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.
Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"
So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"
The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
