Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
What do u call a man who lost his car??
Carlos
Knock, knock. Who's there. My penis.
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Why did the chicken crossed the road? I don’t know? to get to the idiot house
Knock Knock who there?
The chicken
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Who are the Fastest Readers in the world??
9/11 victim: They read 87 stories in 10 seconds
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in Unicorns?
Knock Knock Whos there? Ach Ach who Bless you
