Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushes it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
A blonde, a brunette, and redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
If two feminazis are carpet munchers which one in the lesbian relationship cooks? They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️
ill call your mom a cow but which one
A Man: I must confess father Priest: what are you her to confess A Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son Priest: and what happened to your son A Man: He said a man raped him Priest: when and where did this happened A Man: a local church, idk which one Priest...by whom? A Man: A priest he said, he said the priest had black hair and blue eyes. kind of like you Priest: ...shit
I was going to talk about your chin but i wasnt sure which one to write about.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple. The kid just hangs there.
Urban areas are fill with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree which one hits the ground first Apple cuz The Noose stops her
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,.....Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter and she asked which one was my kid and I said I haven't decided yet
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on man keep your chin up. Wait which one
I went to the store and i saw no oranges and i went to ask the cashier:cashier:which one
