Weight Watchers jokes

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

You shouldn’t bully fat people.

They already have enough on their plate.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.