Wear jokes

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

What kind of mask are you wearing?

An Elon Musk!

Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.

Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"

Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...

Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?

Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.

It's not funny, I know.

Do you want to wear my sombrero?

Or is that nacho style?

Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

What did the tissue wear?

A shoe.

What does a house wear? Address.

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt

And a person said to me:

"That must be a bit tight round the neck".

What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?

White vans.

One time a crow saw a peacock and then wanted to be like a peacock, so he picked up peacock feathers and then wore them.

Then he starts walking and everybody thinks he's strange, and then his friends are not his friends anymore, and then after that he says, "Friends, please be my friends again. I'm sorry, I will be the way I am."

My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!

Me: Sister, are you wearing makeup?

My sister wearing all the world's makeup.

Sister: Just a little.