Back
Want

Want jokes

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

  • 1

    • Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

    My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

    So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

    My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

    Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?

    It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...

    Want to know what I do in my freetime?

    Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

    Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?

    He wanted to be able to finger A minor.

    Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

    Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

    If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

    When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

    I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.