Vampire jokes
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
What is a vampire鈥檚 favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."