Twos jokes

I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)

1+1? Too hard.

A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.

Two kids were beating up a ginger kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.

I got a new Lego airplane set from my friend... oddly, there were also two towers included in the box as well.

Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

What do you call two Mexicans playing ping pong? Juan on Juan.

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo.

Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.

A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"

Why did two fours skip lunch? They already ate.

Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.

If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.