What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft? “ A sped runner”.
Elsa got a boyfriend and the boyfriend wanted to try anal. She was too keen but she just lay back and shouted “INTO THE UNKNOWN!”
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
a souls fan raped me he said try finger but whole
I'm sick of crying;tired of trying;yes,i'm still smiling;inside I'm dying
I tried to start a music career but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
I tried to catch fog today I mist
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day. After about 13 tries, I realised this was very time consuming
dentist: open up sir
me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea
dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth
me: :O ohhhh my bad
dentist : do u need help??
me: yep
dentist:...
me: ....
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but i can't seem to build on it.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
i tried a pun about water but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain they are usually just being a beach
I tried to think of how lighting works.then it struck me.
Vegans:Save the Earth Normal People:Were trying to but you guys keep eating it
You know when women clean their nails with chemicals no one cares but when hitler tries to clean poland with chemicals everyone goes crazy
Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks "what is that man doing?". The mom says "Making pizza" trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says "Making extra cheese". When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says "Ordering the pizza".
Later that day the mother says to the father "I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good".
So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs "wanna order some pizza !?"
The mother replied "DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME"
the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"
