Traffic safety jokes

What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?

Speed humps.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.

A cop stopped a guy for speeding.

He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.

The cop said, "But there is no traffic."

And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

What do you take care of after a car crash?

The witnesses.