Timekeeping jokes

Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.

In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?

You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.

Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?

To keep track of his rhyme time.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

What happens when a clock is hungry?

It goes back four seconds.