Timekeeping jokes

What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?

You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?

To keep track of his rhyme time.

Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.

In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.