If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
What do orphans and deaf people have in common?
They can't hear their parents.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
Why can't orphans have sex?
They don't know who daddy is.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they were pissed as all they got was plane.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
