Thereness jokes
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."
Did you know there was food on the plane that caused 9/11?
It was the bomb.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Me when I’m trying to fall asleep:
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.
Q: Why do women only use their lefts?
A: Because they don't have any rights.
Why are butts salty?
Because there buttered!
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
What's the difference between you and a Barbie? There is no difference. Both of your faces are fake.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
Stranger: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Stranger: Not your parents.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
Jorden Calerendiá.
I bet you are a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, by the way your roasts are not fucking funny they are bullshit like your face and your hairline.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.