Therapy

Therapy Jokes

Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!

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So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.

Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.

The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.

It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.

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How do you start a dance party?

Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

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Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!