Newest Therapist Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Why did ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11

Why do people who get shot in the head always becomes therapists?

They are more open-minded.

regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist

Me: I'm depressed so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain

In middle school, we had to create words with magnet letters. Some kid laid the word "Animal Therapist". I changed one space and got sent home :/

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

guy talking to an Indian therapist

he had a red dot and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said

"I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle"

Fill it out if u want

#THINGS I HAVE DONE PROJECT
O Been in Love
O Have Anxiety
O Broken Hearts
O Felt Insecure
O Been Ignored
O Been Embarrassed
O Stolen
O Lied
O Been Heartbroken
O Kissed
O Had a Boyfriend
O Had a Girlfriend
O Cheated
O Been Cheated On
O Had Sex
O Cried Myself to Sleep
O Stayed Up All Night
O Smiled
O Laughed
O Fake Smiled
O Been Verbally Abused
O Been Physically Abused
O Been Sexually Abused
O Hated Someone
O Hated Myself
O Gotten a Tattoo
O Gotten Piercings
O Traveled
O Been Stung
O Broken Bones
O Skipped School
O Want/Wanted to Die
O Been Depressed
O Binged
O Failed a Class
O Purged
O Starved
O Gotten All A's
O Gotten Suspended
O Gotten Expelled
O Been to Jail
O Been Cyber-bullied
O Been Bullied
O Been a Bully
O Have/Had Anorexia
O Have/Had Bulimia
O Cut Myself
O Burned Myself
O Drank
O Smoked
O Done Drugs
O Have/Had an Addiction
O One Month Clean
O Attempted Suicide
O Know Someone Who Has
O Lost Someone to Suicide
O Overdosed
O Hallucinated
O Been Hospitalized
O Seen a Therapist
O Told Your Parents
O Have Other Mental Disorders
O Have Other Medical Problems
O Take Meds
O Hide Scars wockalbin
O Have a Secret Account
O Relapsed
O Other Forms of Self-harm O Accepted Myself
@violetsunlight7

i'm so depressed i gave my therapist trauma.

Therapists are rapists in diguise,because "THE RAPIST"

im sobbing, fruit wuz my first friend on here, and now he's gone :<

Can confirm this is me
I didn't sign in, and I won't sign in ever again.
You guys are the best.
Dagger, stfu.
but fr tho, Dagger, you should pursue being a therapist. I believe in you, your awesome. (wrong you're on purpose)
:hello:, you're a great friend. stay out of trouble.
Cas/Kai, You are a genuine comedian, you make me feel good about myself, and you are very kind.
Ashton, STFU.
Bye ya'll
For real this time.

What did the therapist say to the rapist yes please

I saw this one quote of the people who smile the most are covering the most pain I think this is true just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends but with my parents and family I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do. I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe 22/24 but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate saying I would tell her that my depression got worse she went along with it but I haven't told my mum and I know make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist

The rapist is therapist

Lol

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd 9th and 15th letter of the alphabet doctor: oh I see me:ahhhh!!!!!

Hollow Knight Meme

Therapist: Grimm-stone
isn't real it can't hurt you
GRIMM-STONE:
imgflip.com

john walk into pat at the barn he was dancing nacked in front of a tractor john said hey pat what you doing pat said well me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed so I went to a therapist and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)

If r kelly was a therapist:

14 year old: I hate my life R kelly: I feel you

i’m start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me “how are you?” i can say “sad” and toss the confetti everywhere it’ll be like a real life imessage