Their jokes

What do mermaids wash their fins with?

Tide.

My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

Why do some couples go to the gym together?

Because they want their relationship to work out.

What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?

They shellabrated their mommy.

Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?

So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."

"Shut up, Brick!"

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!

Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...

Rape...hurt...and sell them!

I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.

That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.

An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.

I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.

What was the last thing that went through the 9/11 jumpers' heads?

Their ankles.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

Everyone punch orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why do orphans like belts?

They remind them of their father.

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

A: Because they lost two of their towers.

Why are orphans sad?

Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.