The jokes

Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.

Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?

Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.

What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?

Ten-putt!

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He drove too far away from the wall.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!

What did the chicken say to the turkey?

Nothing, he chickened out!

I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.

Why did the Ice Cube complain about being so warm? Because he was dropped on the floor.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because some kid was flossing!

He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.

If you're American coming into the bathroom,

And you're American coming out of the bathroom,

What are you in the bathroom?

European.

Why did the chicken go to the mall?

To get new feathers!

What did the bus say to the mail?

Dog.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!

Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.

What did the sea say to the sea?

Nothing, it just waved.

I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.

But the vet charged me six quid.

Do you like all the jokes I’ve been “cracking?”

Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?

A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."