The jokes

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

What's the difference between emos and 9/11?

The emos are still there, high up off the ground.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?

Because they can’t find the home button!

Why are emo kids the best jumpers?

Because they never fall down.

The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.

The convoy truckers are a joke.

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

The "w" in Africa stands for wealth.

Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

Bully: *cries*

Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

What did the plate say to the other plate?

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.